Updated: Jul 22, 2019
If you’re anything like you me, you may of been brought up to believe that one day you would get married, have kids and life would be grand.
Hmmm not exactly how it turned out...life had a different story in mind for me. It’s not that I didn’t want those things. I’ve had 3 marriage proposals, all from good men, yet knew in my heart they weren’t the right ones for me.
However there was definitely a naive part of me that believed one day my finances would all just magically fall into place. One day when I was in that fabulous relationship with the man of my dreams.... One day.... I’ve had very supportive and generous partners that have helped me financially and for that I'm very grateful. However I’ve always had this fierce independence and I felt the discomfort of receiving money from a man. This deep knowing within that I will never really feel successful until I have my own financial security.
Being in partnership with a man and building a life with your King is a beautiful thing but not at the expense of your own independence.
What happens if your relationship ends, or worse, he gets sick, has an accident or passes away. This can leave you in a very vulnerable situation if you've been primarily financially dependent on your man.
Sorry to be voice of gloom but let’s be real….shit happens. Life is very uncertain, we can't really be sure of anything at all.
Sisters, we all need to do our due diligence and take control of our financial destinies. Whether you are single, married, divorced, or widowed, it’s your responsibility to grow your financial intelligence and take control of your financial future.
I believe it’s one of the most liberating things you can do for yourself because it gives you choice and options....this my friend is true freedom.
Times have changed. Since the feminist movement in the 60’s when women began to come out of the kitchens and into the workforce, there’s been a shift in what’s possible for women. However with that has come a growth in the rate of poverty in women over their 50's, it has increased considerably from relationship breakdowns.
Women, in general, still fall behind men in the arena of financial intelligence. Is it because we find it all so boring? ...(guilty, but I'm changing that story.) Is it because we just didn't prioritize it as paramount? Or we don't have high incomes so we stick our head in the sand and hope it will all just "work out?"
If you keep your had in the sand for too long, it's not going away. It's denial and will come back and bite you on the ass....
Joan Hamburg - New York radio personality quotes: ""Even some of the smartest married women don't know their financial standing. I once talked to a bunch of women at a bank in Staten Island, and I asked, 'Do you know what's in your husband's will? Do you know where his papers are? Do you even know what you're worth?' Not one woman knew. The truth is we're very complacent when it comes to seizing control of our finances. It's part of that old syndrome: Be the best girl possible, make people happy, and Daddy's going to take care of you. That's over. For women, dealing with money doesn't seem graceful. Many see it as sort of embarrassing to know about money. It's time for us to step right up to the plate and learn. One reason women are so totally unprepared for the financial devastation that can come after a divorce is that they have no clue how to handle their money." Never, never, never give up your financial independence. No matter how difficult it may seem, keep one toe in the water: it may make the difference between sinking and swimming.
Let’s teach and demonstrate to our daughters and each other how financial empowerment looks. Let's own our power....and our bank balance.